We all face scenarios that leave us feeling insecure or inadequate. Most of the scenarios happened in our childhood, when we were vulnerable and lacked awareness of what was happening. Necessarily, what was happening was painful, yet we were never aware of the implications, which would stay with us forever. Being laughed at by a group of other students in Grade Four wasn’t a big deal after the day was over. Tomorrow saw us in the same classroom, and things went as normal. But normal was never the same again. It was a new normal.
Twenty years later, you’re reflecting on your childhood, and that painful memory rears its ugly head. It’s not as powerful as it was then, yet it shapes how you see everything now. You got over it by repressing it, and now it’s claiming to be heard by you, to be taken as it was—a violent act, a shameful act, a perpetual inferiority that can be shed little by little.
The ugly truth of what makes us inferior is always fresh in our minds. It never goes away.
We are never enough for everything, just as we are never enough for everyone. It’s inevitable that even the most accomplished human feels inadequate in some way. They may have everything: looks, influence, the means and methods to obtain whatever they desire, intelligence, and anything else you can think of, but it has never been enough for them, or they simply do not believe in their adequacy.
We are endlessly trying to fill a void that we can’t fill. It will always be there. It’s like the bed under the sea; as long as the sea exists, the sea bed exists too. Even though what happens to us leaves an impression, it affects us in numerous ugly ways.
The good news is that every now and then we figure out where the problem is. What happened to us as children shapes who we become as adults. The remedy is our acceptance and finding a simple way that will make us live without it being a hindrance to our growth.
We are all broken, though in different ways. Life sees to it that there is always something in our way. The path is bent. The road is long. And the load on our heads is heavy. Life has to go on because it has to go on.
If you are struggling with inferiority, know that we all do. Though we may sound confident and seem to have figured it all out, we haven’t yet. We only convince ourselves that we are enough for what we can do and that we are enough for whoever sees us as enough. that we are insufficient in the eyes of those who see us as insufficient. There is no way out, and possibly there never will be.
Truth sets free what is caged in lies. The most common lie we tell ourselves is that we should be enough for everything and for everyone. Reality has it another way: we are enough for something or someone. Most of all, what we are enough for is the thing we choose to do and the person we choose to be. Everything else falls into the dustbin of falsehood.
To create a world devoid of inferiority, we are obliged to accept that we are limited in our adequacy. Too, we are limitless in the spaces we choose to give ourselves freedom to soar to the limits of our inadequacy.